Thrive to be Your Best Self in the Midst of Negative Events

Life can be beautiful at times and sometimes you may feel like you are on "top of the world." Everything seems to be going right: Your child made straight As in school, your spouse remembered your Birthday and took you on an unforgettable date, and you received the long awaited promotion at work. Everything appears so right and suddenly someone told a bold-faced lie on you. This lie was premeditated and does not have a ring of truth to it. You are hurt. In fact, you are devastated because you cannot imagined why the person would want to hurt you by deliberately making things up about you. The situation even got worse when people who know you and should have confidence in you chose to believe the negative things about you. What do you do when negative things are reported about you and people whom you respect and look up to chose to believe that you could do simple things that a one year old child knows not to do? What do you do when you feel that your intelligence is insulted?

In situations when you are wrongly accused and you feel unappreciated for all the hard work that you have done you need to encourage yourself. Tell yourself that you know that you are a honest person who tries to treat everyone with fairness, respect, dignity, and compassion. Encourage yourself by affirming that you will not let any negative situations stop you from being your best self. Also, be assertive and let others know how you feel by using "I messages." It is hard not to be reactive to these negative events; however, it is much better to be proactive in these circumstances: Continue to be the best you can to yourself and others.

Do not expect everyone to like you because in an imperfect world that is impossible. However; more people will like you that dislike you. It is imperative to be your best self to all people including the ones that dislike you. Try not to react to people's negative remarks and body languages. Act from a place of deep-rooted principle and try to be proactive rather than reactive. I believe in Karma; therefore, send out into the universe all the good you can and goodness will come back to you. Thrive to be your best self.

Congratulations

           Congratulations Jo! So happy that you have reaped the fruits from your hard work!



On May 22, 2013, my daughter graduated from NYU. I am very proud of my daughter and her accomplishments. I wish her all the blessings that God has for her has she starts a new journey in her life. Way to go!

I am very thankful to God for helping her to reach this milestone in her life. The journey was not easy; however, it was worth it. May God continue to direct her path as she travels through life.

Congratulations to everyone who graduated this semester!

The Risks of Dating or Marrying Someone who Appears to have Potential

There are some people in our society today who are encouraging women especially, African American women to marry men who seems to have the potential for success in the hopes that these men will improve themselves academically and financially throughout the years. Educated African American women who are unable to find equally educated men are sometimes given this advice. Some people feel a need to give these women this form of advice because statistic shows that 70% of  Black women in their 20s in this country are single. However, some men may be given this advice too. There are several risk factors associated with this type of advice. While some men or women who seemed to have the potential of success worked hard and become successful in their chosen careers, there are others who have no intention of improving their lives and settled for less than enough.

Risk Factors

• You can only change yourself and trying to instill ambition into someone who does not see a need to improve himself or herself is futile. Marrying such a person can caused financial strain on the family because they cannot pay their portion of the bills.
• If you marry someone who appeared to have potential to improve his or her life and during the marriage that person remains the same month after month and year after year, this pattern can cause lots of stress in the marriage. This situation can be very stressful because you will be faced with the fact that you are married to someone you had no intention of spending the rest of your life with.
• Some of these men or women may lie and make promises that they have no intention of keeping just to stay in the marriage. They may promise their spouse that they would go to school or that they would change jobs; however, none of their promises ever become reality.
• Some of these people who seemed to have potential will be satisfied with working menial jobs for the rest of their lives.
• Others may be happy with not working or doing anything to improve themselves: Life with these people can be very challenging.

How to Prevent Yourself from Marrying the Wrong Person

• Do your research on the person you intend to marry: Talk to family members, friends, co-workers, and neighbors.
• Let him or her explain to you his or her life's goals and specific plans on accomplishing those goals.
• Observe carefully: Is he or she really working on his or her life goals.
• Is he or she truthful or do you catch him or her telling lies frequently?
• Does he or she follow through on planned events?
• Is he or she willing to not take failure as an option?
• Is self improvement important to him or her?
• Is he or she committed to accomplish his or her goals?
• Is he or she willing to sacrifce immediate pleasures for future successes?
• Does he or she display good morals?
• Does he or she has a positive mindset?

At the end of the day, it is your life; so, you decide whether or not you want to take the risks of dating or marrying someone who seems to have the potential to be successful. If you choose to do so the least you can do for yourself is to do your homework well on that person. You may find the prevention methods above very useful in helping you choose the right person for you: You should be able to answer "yes" to all the questions if you are using them to help you decide on who is right for you. Wishing you success in finding the right person for you.

Dorm Therapy: Episode 4

Since the premiere of Dorm Therapy on March 28, 2013, we are now up to Episode 4. These series are very funny and depict  some of the everyday event of college students residential life. Your continued support for Dorm Therapy is appreciated. Please continue to watch and share the episodes with your family, relatives, friends, coworkers, and others that you come in contact with. You may watch Dorm therapy on YouTube at:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3-K4OZjNKQc

It's Here: Dorm Therapy Episode 1

I was one proud mama tonight while I attended the premiere of  Dorm Therapy in New York. Dorm Therapy was co-written, co-directed, co-produced, and edited by my very beautiful and talented daughter Jo-Dean and her talented friend Adam Carey. The premiere was a huge success. The event was well attended by cast members, NYU students, parents, friends, and well-wishers. The series are well written, plots organized, funny, interesting, and believable. During the show you could hear frequent burst of laughter during scenes that were very funny. I totally enjoyed the show and was happy that I was able to make the trip to NYC.

Watch Dorm Therapy Episode 1: Move-In Day at:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7w6l7SQ0rzI

Win $100 To Bed Bath & Beyond!

Win $100 to Bed Bath & Beyond! Log on to Facebook, LIKE the Dorm Therapy page (https://www.facebook.com/DormTherapy ) and SHARE the VIDEO titled "SHARE this video to win a $100 Gift Card!" You must like the page and share the video to be considered! Check the page for more details.

Dorm Therapy Season 1 Teaser Trailer

Here is the trailer for Dorm Therapy Season 1. Dorm Therapy is written by my daughter Jo-Dean and her co-writer Adam:

My Journey to a Healthier Life Part I

The good news so far is that I now weigh 205 lbs. I have been watching my portion sizes and eating at least 6-7 servings of fruits and vegetables on most days. I have continued using stairs instead of elevators as much as possible and doing my dancing exercise for about 15 minutes at least 3 times daily. I have slipped up about two times with my meals: I ate more than usual on Valentine's Day when my husband and I went to a restaurant for dinner. Also, one day at work I gave into temptation and ate one slice of spinach and cheese pizza in addition to my salad. Overall, I am on target and I am determined to live a healthy lifestyle.

My Struggles with Obesity

Since about 2008, I have been steadily gaining weight and presently I weigh 210 pounds at 5 feet 7 inches  In 2007, I started to work the night shift and I would eat at nights and attended college in the morning and slept in the evenings. I worked night shifts for 3 years. I  hardly made time for exercise as my main focus was on my college assignments. This form of prioritization was not helpful towards my health as I saw my dress sizes increased. Currently, my dress size has increased 4 sizes. I have tried dieting and have had my weight yo yo back and forth. Once I lost 15 lbs in 2 weeks and then put on the 15 lbs plus extra weight. Therefore, I am choosing to change my lifestyle so that I can live a healthy life.

I have started to watch my portion sizes, use stairs instead of elevators, park my car some distance from my destination, dance to music 3 times per week, and eat more fruits and vegetables. I will continue to practice these activities until they become routine. Later I will add more activities such as walking around the lake to my selfcare plan.

I have a desire to change my lifestyle because I know that obesity is a risk factor for many diseases such as type II diabetes and heart disease. Also, as a nurse I should be an example to my patients. I feel like a hypocrite when I have to talk to anyone about diet and exercise. Now, I love myself just the way I am; however, I know that I do not have a healthy weight and my lifestyle has caused me every pound of excess weight that I carry. I am also aware that I had made poor choices that resulted in obesity and it is up to me to make right choices to get my life on a healthy tract. I take full responsibility to get my weight under control.

With God's help and my support group I know that I can do this. I will be accountable to my daughter for making healthy choices.

If you struggle with overweight or obesity take control of your life today. Together we can choose to live a healthy lifestyle. It's possible!!

What Do You Do When You Have Done All You Can?

Have you ever been in a situation where you have worked on all the ideas and suggestions for a project and you are no where near to completing it? In situations like this one can become frustrated and tempted to give up on the project. Although feelings of frustrations are real, try not to give in to them and stop working on a project/goal that you know that is in God's plan for your life. In these times you may have to step away from the project to rejuvenate yourself and come back stronger with a clearer head.

So, you have exhausted all your options and you do not know what else to do to make this project a success. Here are somethings that you may do to stay strong and eventually  help you complete your project:

• Talk to God and ask Him for guidance: Listen to Him and trust Him to lead you.
• Call a trusted and faithful person (Pastor, relative, or friend) who you can talk to: You may need to vent or pray.
• Apply self-care techniques such as meditations or taking walks.
• Make a choice to have a grateful heart.
• Contact an expert in the field that your project is related to for suggestions on how to move forward
• Make a decision that quitting is not an option.

Wishing you lots of blessings and success as you move forward with your projects/goals.

Be blessed,

Joy

Dorm Therapy: A Web Series About College Residential Life

My daughter Jo-Dean Seymour and her co-writer Adam Carey have written a web series called Dorm Therapy. This series is about college students residential life. Dorm Therapy will premiere in New York and on YouTube on March 28, 2013. Filming of this project will begin on January 12, 2013. It will cost about $5,000.00 to complete this project. Please join me in supporting this project at:

http://www.indiegogo.com/dormtherapy



Please like Dorm Therapy on Facebook at:

https://www.facebook.com/DormTherapy


Here are some promotional videos: