How to Overcome the Venon of Gossipers

Throughout the ages there are people who find pleasure in gossiping about other people. Some of these people try to spread negative statements about others with the intention of making other people look bad and at the same time make themselves look better than the people they are gossiping about. Sometimes people will gossip about others out of jealousy: At times they want what others have but they are not willing to pay the price for the success that they see in other people. So, they go around trying to undermine others to make themselves look good. Many times these people go around and spread false statements about other people. These people can deeply hurt others especially, if their motive is jealousy. I have seen people who want what others have but they are not willing to work hard for it. They are unwilling to give up the comfort of their lives to stay up all night studying, meeting numerous deadlines, working and attending college, denying themselves vacations in order to accomplish a goal, and yet they want what others have sacrificed for. In my mind these people are no better than highway robbers who hold up people and rob them. Some of these people hope that they can cause the people who they spread negative statements about to become frustrated and give up on their goals and others hope that they can cause people to lose their jobs.

How can we Protect Ourselves from the Destructive Nature of These People?

You should have a strong sense of self. You must know who you are and if you do not know who you are you need to determine that in order to stand the attack of people who spread negative statements about you. You cannot afford to let others define you. You must define yourself. For those of us that are Christian the Bible is a good resource for helping us to define ourselves. Knowing who you are helps to enhance your confidence so that when people attack you and spread negative statements about you, you can choose not to believe the negative statements. I am not talking about constructive criticism. I am talking about people who are trying to undermine all your best efforts because they want to be in your position or they just want what you have. When these people attack you you have to be strong and determined that you have worked too hard for all that you have achieved and you will not let their venous statements prevent you from being your best self in whatever you do. You will have to encourage yourself and remind yourself of who you are and whose you are: Examples: I am a honest Christian woman, wife, mother, grandmother, sister, aunt, friend and I am a child of God. God is my heavenly Father and He loves me unconditionally. I am confident and have the necessary training for whatever I am doing. Sending positive statements to yourself will help you to withstand the evil statements that people spread about you. Also, try not to hate the people that spread false/negative statements about you, instead pray for them and forgive them. Because in forgiving them you free yourself of the burden of unforgiveness and you are free to live your life and to experience great joy.

In some cases you will need to confront those who are trying to hurt you by spreading false statements about you. Be assertive and use "I statements." Example: I do not like the way you are talking about me to my friends/co-workers. I am hurt by the statements you made about me and I am asking you to stop making them. If being assertive does not work them you may need to get help from someone in authority such as your pastor or manager. In other instances you can live above what others are saying about you by knowing who you are and not believing the lies you hear about youself.

May you experience peace and joy as you rise above the negative/false statements that people spread about you. Remember that hurting people tend to hurt others. Pray for those who hurt you and forgive them. May you prosper in everything that you do. May you receive favor everywhere you go. May God bless you richly.

Be blessed,

Joy

Rihanna: The Real Person

A few days ago I watched Oprah's interview of Rihanna on OWN and for the first time I really saw the real person behind all the make-up and costumes. The interview took place in Rihanna's hometown, in the country of Barbados.

During the interview Rihanna appeared "real." I could see a young lady who showed emotions of happiness, sadness, and hope. I saw a person who genuinely loves her family and people in general. I saw a courageous girl who left her family at age 16 to come to America to pursue a better life. In the interview I saw a young lady who did not forget the people she grew up with. The day of the interview I saw a caring young woman who had been hurt at times; however, one that has a heart filled with love. I must confess that in other interviews that I had watched of her I was never able to see the real person. Even after she suffered physical abuse from her former boyfriend I was not able to see her true feelings. Although I was sad for her when she was physically and emotionally hurt it was hard for me to see the real persons in the interview/s she did following the abuse. This interview that she did with Oprah helped me to see her as a loving person who is very likable and caring: A real human being who is capable of displaying different emotions.

My thoughts about Rihanna, affectionately know as Robyn: her real name, are forever changed. After watching the interview I had to call up my best friend and told her what a wonderful person Rihanna is.

Living in the Moment

Some of us have hopes and dreams that we are working hard to accomplish and at times these hopes and dreams can consume us so that we have zero time for self-care. I have experienced times in my life in which I have so much to do that I had no time to work on my self-care plan. I know that was wrong and I should not allow myself to neglect taking care of myself. Therefore, I am making a conscious decision to place my self-care activities second on my To-Do-List after my devotion in the mornings.

I want to live in the moment and enjoy the many blessings that I have today. I have a family that care about me, good friends, a job, a place to sleep, and most of all I am still here. So, I praise God for all His goodness towards me. I am thankful for the peace I have in my neighborhood and for good neighbors.

What can you be thankful for today? For those of you who maybe going through challenging times take sometime to reflect on your life. This may not be easy because your situation may seem to consume you and take up all your energy. However, the fact that you are still living is a blessing. God is not done working on you. He has a plan for your life. you are suppose to be here right now. Try to be thankful for life and do this everyday and after awhile your perception of your condition may change. A thankful mind tends to think clearer.

I pray for your peace today and that you will experience real joy today!!

Be blessed,

Joy

Your Path Maybe Different from the One you are Pursuing

This morning I recalled a time when I was working as a part-time realtor. I really love being a realtor. I was excited to do tours of the different houses. The architectual features of the different houses were a joy to look at. I was always happy to do open houses. However, despite my interest in selling houses I was not able to make a living from this career. I came up with bright ideas and shared those ideas with others and other people  benefited from my ideas. I did not do a good research to know that the world of realtor was a "dog eat dog world" I remember one time I was doing open-house for an agent and I was a very new realtor and I asked him to assist me with an interested buyer who walked through the house while I was doing open-house for him. The agent worked with the buyer and kept all the commission for himself. Towards the beginning of the housing market melt-down, I decided that I would no longer work as a realtor because I was only going into debt with putting the houses on the market and not selling the houses so that I could financially benefit from my labor. Therefore, I made a conscious decision to only pursue my life-long dream of being a nurse.

By putting in all my efforts on becoming a nurse my hard work and sacrifices paid off. It was not easy to reach where I am today. I faced rejection from some nursing schools. I was on the waiting lists twice at one college and still did not get in. I had excellent GPA and still could not get into nursing schools until I applied at the college that I believe was right for me.

I strongly believe that there is a place for all of us and until we find that place we can face many disappointments in life. The first time I applied at the first college that I obtained my Associate Degree in Practical Nursing I was accepted by the college. I was also fortunate to get into the LPN-BSN program at a university a year after graduating with my LPN. After obtaining my LPN all the colleges that I had applied to previously for the RN program accepted me; however, I chose to pursue the BSN.

It was not my intention to pursue a LPN program. I wanted to do the RN program but God had the LPN path for me. I only applied for the LPN program because I was not getting into the RN programs. However, it was the LPN program that qualified me for the LPN- BSN program. Today, I am very happy for this path that God has taken me through because I am now a BSN RN.

Trust God to lead you in the path that He has for you. His path may be totally different from yours but God's path for you is the best path for your life.

Be blessed,

Joy