The Risks of Dating or Marrying Someone who Appears to have Potential

There are some people in our society today who are encouraging women especially, African American women to marry men who seems to have the potential for success in the hopes that these men will improve themselves academically and financially throughout the years. Educated African American women who are unable to find equally educated men are sometimes given this advice. Some people feel a need to give these women this form of advice because statistic shows that 70% of  Black women in their 20s in this country are single. However, some men may be given this advice too. There are several risk factors associated with this type of advice. While some men or women who seemed to have the potential of success worked hard and become successful in their chosen careers, there are others who have no intention of improving their lives and settled for less than enough.

Risk Factors

• You can only change yourself and trying to instill ambition into someone who does not see a need to improve himself or herself is futile. Marrying such a person can caused financial strain on the family because they cannot pay their portion of the bills.
• If you marry someone who appeared to have potential to improve his or her life and during the marriage that person remains the same month after month and year after year, this pattern can cause lots of stress in the marriage. This situation can be very stressful because you will be faced with the fact that you are married to someone you had no intention of spending the rest of your life with.
• Some of these men or women may lie and make promises that they have no intention of keeping just to stay in the marriage. They may promise their spouse that they would go to school or that they would change jobs; however, none of their promises ever become reality.
• Some of these people who seemed to have potential will be satisfied with working menial jobs for the rest of their lives.
• Others may be happy with not working or doing anything to improve themselves: Life with these people can be very challenging.

How to Prevent Yourself from Marrying the Wrong Person

• Do your research on the person you intend to marry: Talk to family members, friends, co-workers, and neighbors.
• Let him or her explain to you his or her life's goals and specific plans on accomplishing those goals.
• Observe carefully: Is he or she really working on his or her life goals.
• Is he or she truthful or do you catch him or her telling lies frequently?
• Does he or she follow through on planned events?
• Is he or she willing to not take failure as an option?
• Is self improvement important to him or her?
• Is he or she committed to accomplish his or her goals?
• Is he or she willing to sacrifce immediate pleasures for future successes?
• Does he or she display good morals?
• Does he or she has a positive mindset?

At the end of the day, it is your life; so, you decide whether or not you want to take the risks of dating or marrying someone who seems to have the potential to be successful. If you choose to do so the least you can do for yourself is to do your homework well on that person. You may find the prevention methods above very useful in helping you choose the right person for you: You should be able to answer "yes" to all the questions if you are using them to help you decide on who is right for you. Wishing you success in finding the right person for you.

Dorm Therapy: Episode 4

Since the premiere of Dorm Therapy on March 28, 2013, we are now up to Episode 4. These series are very funny and depict  some of the everyday event of college students residential life. Your continued support for Dorm Therapy is appreciated. Please continue to watch and share the episodes with your family, relatives, friends, coworkers, and others that you come in contact with. You may watch Dorm therapy on YouTube at:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3-K4OZjNKQc

It's Here: Dorm Therapy Episode 1

I was one proud mama tonight while I attended the premiere of  Dorm Therapy in New York. Dorm Therapy was co-written, co-directed, co-produced, and edited by my very beautiful and talented daughter Jo-Dean and her talented friend Adam Carey. The premiere was a huge success. The event was well attended by cast members, NYU students, parents, friends, and well-wishers. The series are well written, plots organized, funny, interesting, and believable. During the show you could hear frequent burst of laughter during scenes that were very funny. I totally enjoyed the show and was happy that I was able to make the trip to NYC.

Watch Dorm Therapy Episode 1: Move-In Day at:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7w6l7SQ0rzI

Win $100 To Bed Bath & Beyond!

Win $100 to Bed Bath & Beyond! Log on to Facebook, LIKE the Dorm Therapy page (https://www.facebook.com/DormTherapy ) and SHARE the VIDEO titled "SHARE this video to win a $100 Gift Card!" You must like the page and share the video to be considered! Check the page for more details.

Dorm Therapy Season 1 Teaser Trailer

Here is the trailer for Dorm Therapy Season 1. Dorm Therapy is written by my daughter Jo-Dean and her co-writer Adam:

My Journey to a Healthier Life Part I

The good news so far is that I now weigh 205 lbs. I have been watching my portion sizes and eating at least 6-7 servings of fruits and vegetables on most days. I have continued using stairs instead of elevators as much as possible and doing my dancing exercise for about 15 minutes at least 3 times daily. I have slipped up about two times with my meals: I ate more than usual on Valentine's Day when my husband and I went to a restaurant for dinner. Also, one day at work I gave into temptation and ate one slice of spinach and cheese pizza in addition to my salad. Overall, I am on target and I am determined to live a healthy lifestyle.

My Struggles with Obesity

Since about 2008, I have been steadily gaining weight and presently I weigh 210 pounds at 5 feet 7 inches  In 2007, I started to work the night shift and I would eat at nights and attended college in the morning and slept in the evenings. I worked night shifts for 3 years. I  hardly made time for exercise as my main focus was on my college assignments. This form of prioritization was not helpful towards my health as I saw my dress sizes increased. Currently, my dress size has increased 4 sizes. I have tried dieting and have had my weight yo yo back and forth. Once I lost 15 lbs in 2 weeks and then put on the 15 lbs plus extra weight. Therefore, I am choosing to change my lifestyle so that I can live a healthy life.

I have started to watch my portion sizes, use stairs instead of elevators, park my car some distance from my destination, dance to music 3 times per week, and eat more fruits and vegetables. I will continue to practice these activities until they become routine. Later I will add more activities such as walking around the lake to my selfcare plan.

I have a desire to change my lifestyle because I know that obesity is a risk factor for many diseases such as type II diabetes and heart disease. Also, as a nurse I should be an example to my patients. I feel like a hypocrite when I have to talk to anyone about diet and exercise. Now, I love myself just the way I am; however, I know that I do not have a healthy weight and my lifestyle has caused me every pound of excess weight that I carry. I am also aware that I had made poor choices that resulted in obesity and it is up to me to make right choices to get my life on a healthy tract. I take full responsibility to get my weight under control.

With God's help and my support group I know that I can do this. I will be accountable to my daughter for making healthy choices.

If you struggle with overweight or obesity take control of your life today. Together we can choose to live a healthy lifestyle. It's possible!!